I Don't Want To Feel The Pain
by SCWritings
Summary: QW14 Day 7: Free Day. Santana shows up at Quin's dorm after the Finn Tribute Week


**A/N: DAY 7! Guys it's the last entry. So I kinda wanted to mesh all of the theme's into one. Quinntana Begins is in here, Comfort/Fluff is in here, Future Quinntana could technically be in here, Meet the Family isn't, Holiday kind of is. It's the week of Finn's tribute and let's all admit it. We take that day off of work to cry at home. AU is in this because this isn't canon. There's a lot about Finn's death in here cause I watch watching Santana break down in Glee and an idea struck me as I was sobbing, so here's what my head came up with. I apologize for all of my entries being short, but I try to keep my one-shots between 1k to 2k words. I hope everyone enjoyed Quinntana Week 2014 and I better see you all again next year for this!**

**No beta this time either, I'm sorry.**

**Poll: Brittany leads with 69%. No seriously. I started laughing at work and people were like, "What?"**

**Disclaimer: I'm not even gonna go there**

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I Don't Want To Feel The Pain

Quinn was cramming for a test in her dorm room one day when her phone started lighting up. She sees Rachel's name flash across her screen. Deciding to ignore it, she silences the phone and keeps working. The phone goes off again.

The blonde rolls her eyes and answers the phone. "What's up, Rach?" Anyone could see that Quinn's face visibly drops. "He's what? No. How is that possible?" She keeps listening to what Rachel is saying, but can only get a few words picked out of the sobbing that was happening on the other end. "Are you sure?" She hears the 'yes' loud and clear over her phone and that's when she began to cry. Tears rolled down her cheeks in silent sobs, marking her face with the makeup she applied earlier in the day. Finn had passed away.

She hears the girl on the other line distantly say something about a tribute week for Finn at the Glee Club, and how Rachel is going to stay home from it. The blonde tried to go, but her week was full of tests and projects that were due, so she couldn't just take the whole week off. Quinn got updates from Kurt a couple times a day and then Rachel ended up going. The small brunette was devastated that Quinn couldn't make it, but she had Kurt's hand to hold the entire time.

She got the news of the letterman's jacket that was stolen, and Mr. Shue eventually told the class that he had it, in which he gave it back to Kurt so he could give it to Santana. She got the news about Santana's break down and she heard Kurt recite the speech Santana wrote. She got the news of the tree that is now in the place where she and Finn were making out for the first time and Sue caught them. She cried every night that week and it is that Friday night when she hears a knocking on her dorm room door.

She hulls herself off of her bed hastily wiping at the tear streaks. She slowly opens the door and finds Santana slumped against the opposite wall wearing Finn's jacket with her eyes looking distantly through the air.

"Santana?" Quinn calls out to her. Santana's head slowly lifts up and her eyes meet Quinn's. The blonde gasps at the sadness in the brunette's eyes and reaches for her best friend's hand. Santana looks down and then lifts her own hand to tangle in Quinn's and she pulls Santana into her dorm, wrapping her in a hug as soon as they were inside.

They both cried together on Quinn's dorm bed. All night, they both cried until they fell asleep tangled together at four thirty in the morning.

The next day had Quinn sleeping in since it was Saturday. She wakes up and looks around with a smile on her face until she smell's Finn's jack and remembers what had happened this previous week. She find herself unable to keep her thoughts away from the young wanna be teacher. Usually she would get up to go to classes by now, but she finds that she has nothing to occupy her thoughts. That is until the brunette next to her twitches in her sleep.

She looks over Santana's face and she sees it in the most relaxed state she's ever seen it in. She slowly replaces her head back into the crook of Santana's neck, where it was resting before and closes her eyes, basking in the relaxation she felt with her best friend tangled up on the bed with her.

It isn't long when she feels Santana start to wiggle around in her sleep, seemingly coming into the real world. The blonde sees the exact same thing happen to Santana. She opens her eyes, and has a content smile on her face until she remembers everything that has happened. She meets Quinn's gaze and it's almost as if the pain dulled slightly, just in that moment.

"Why weren't you there?" Santana asks, and the pain comes back full force to both of them. Quinn looks away from Santana's stare, feeling guilty even though there's nothing she could do about it.

"I wanted to be there, San. I really did. There were so many tests and projects this last week. I couldn't just leave," Quinn responds with a crack in her voice at the very end.

Santana winced when she heard the crack, seeing just how much pain the blonde was in. "Brittany wasn't there either."

"I know."

Santana takes a deep breath. "She's pregnant."

Quinn's eyes go wide, but she instantly squeezes them shut, realizing how much pain her eyes were in after crying pretty much all night. "What?"

Santana rolls onto her back away from Quinn and stares at the ceiling, thinking about how just a week ago, her life was normal. "Yeah, she's dating some nerd at MIT. She wants to marry him someday."

Quinn scoots closer to her friend, missing the warmth Santana provided as soon as she rolled away. "San, I'm-"

"It's fine, Quinn." The blonde looks at her skeptically. "Really. I'm fine. It's been a whole year and I worked my ass off, but I'm over her. I really am." A smile plays on the brunette's lips at how free she felt, but then she is once again weighed down by the pain of losing a part of her family.

The two are silent for a long time. Content on just being close to each other and letting the pain sink in. "When does it stop?" Quinn asks Santana, referring to the heartache the two of them were going through right now.

Santana sighs and answers as best as she can. "One day, you'll wake up and realize it doesn't hurt as much as it used to. That the splintering pain in your stomach and chest just turns into a dull throbbing in your heart and a never ending knot in your stomach. Then it kind of goes away and you're left with painful memories."

Quinn sniffles. "It hurts. San, it hurts so bad. This past week I have been able to avoid thinking about it until at night, but by then I was too exhausted to really think about it. I don't want to hurt anymore."

She doesn't know if it was because she is in a different place, or because Quinn and her shared the bed, cuddling all night, or if it is because of the repressed feelings she had for the blonde, but she looked down and caught Quinn's gaze and then leaned in to press her lips against her friend's.

Quinn pulls back and Santana hangs her head slightly, keeping her eyes closed. "What are you doing?"

The Latina shakes her head. "I'm trying not to think."

Quinn nods and allows herself not to think as she leans back in to Santana and cups her cheek. Santana opens her eyes and Quinn nods once again before capturing Santana's lips with her own.

They both throw all of their focus onto each other. Quinn allows small moments where she brings herself back to reality and she's met with enjoyment and actually liking the way Santana's lips feel against her own. She likes the way Santana's skin raised it goose bumps as she runs her fingers under the hem of the brunette's shirt beneath the jacket. She likes the way Santana's nails scratch her scalp after she does that thing with her tongue. She likes the small whimpering noise Santana makes if Quinn nibbles her bottom lip. She likes everything about Santana, so she brings herself out and back to reality by breaking the kiss.

The two are panting against each other's mouths when Santana speaks, "Do you want to stop?"

Quinn contemplates her decisions for a minute. She wants to forget the pain and suffering she has gone through this past week, but she doesn't want to throw herself at her best friend. She wants to go further with Santana. God, does she want to, but she doesn't want to go that fast, especially when she finds herself actually developing a serious liking for the girl in the bed with her. She wants to in reality, but Santana might only want to so she can forget her pain. "I do, but I don't."

Santana takes a deep breath, trying to cool the heat between her legs and control the throbbing that's down there as well. "Care to elaborate?" she asks as she looks back into Quinn's hazel eyes.

Quinn stares back with as much sincerity as she can. "I want to forget. I want to go further, God, San, I really want to. But I don't want to just do it, I don't want to go fast, and I don't want to do it if you're just going to leave later after a session of comfort sex."

Santana blanches at Quinn's words. She was not expecting that. She was expecting, 'Oh, yeah, well, I'm straight. Even though I was moaning into your mouth and touching you in ways no one has ever touched you before, I'm straight, so get out.' She wasn't expecting, 'I like you, so I want to take my time.' She opens her mouth to respond, but she ends up asking something else instead. "Do you have feelings for me?" Quinn nods. "We'll go slow."

A smile creeps upon Quinn's face and an equal smile flashes onto Santana's face as they both get up and decide to go out to breakfast. To get out of the boring and depressing dorm room and out into the world.

Santana could be Quinn's light at the end of the tunnel, and Quinn could be Santana's. They could be each other's savior.


End file.
